Tahun ini dimulakan dengan insiden berbaur agama, sekaligus memporakperandakan keamanan negara yang kian lama kian menghilang... seterusnya kini, insiden menghina sultan di dalam blog pula... ermmm... mengapa tidak dikala hidupnya kita berani berkata nista? Mengapa sekarang? betapa ceteknya akal dan hinanya peribadi manusia bila berkata yang buruk tentang hamba Allah yang telah tiada, yang tidak mungkin dapat mempertahankan dirinya...
Kemanakah perginya nilai kemanusiaan itu pada mereka2 ini? ermmm...
Kalau zaman dahulu kala, sebut sahaja Melayu, maka yang terbit difikiran adalah, org melayu itu berbudi pekerti luhur, org melayu sanggup berkorban nyawa demi raja, bangsa dan negara... orang melayu itu, orang melayu ini, segalanya baik2 sahaja. Tetapi kemanakah perginya segala yang baik2 ini?
Kini, apabila disebut sahaja melayu... orang akan mula mengatakan melayu mudah lupa... melayu kini menggunakan perkataan bangsa untuk mencapai matlamatnya... melayu kini menggunakan agama untuk berbuat durjana... orang melayu dikatakan bangsa yang malas (nauzubillah, semoga anak2ku tidak menjadi tipikal melayu jika benar mereka boleh digelar melayu).
Sesungguhnya aku marah, aku rasa malu... Islam itu agama yang indah, agama yang menyeru umatnya utk berbuat kebaikan... namun agama islam ini kini disalaherti oleh bangsa2 lain, bukan salah mereka bertanggapan sedemikian, kerana saudara2 kita yang seagama yang memulakannya... Usahlah mula diungkitkan soal kemungkinan kita disabotaj pihak lain, untuk menunjukkan betapa Islam itu agama yang melambangkan kekejaman dan kemunduran... Ungkitlah tentang honour killings, ungkitlah tentang suicide bombing, ungkitlah tentang bermacam2 lagi bentuk keganasan... betapa mudah orang2 yang tidak mengerti menuding jari pada Islam... aduhh... kemanakah perginya keindahan itu?
Bagiku juga Islam itu agama yang mudah... namun orang2 kita juga yang menjadikannya susah... ermmm... Al Quran itu, didalamnya wujud kemodenan dan pengetahuan sains yang menjangkaui segala pengetahuan yang sedang kita kecapi dikala moden ini... yang tatacaranya meliputi serba serbi...
Betapa aku ingin benar mengerti... adakah apa yang aku rasa ini sememangnya normal? Adakah cara aku meniliti setiap perkara sama seperti teman2 lainnya? Adakah aku terlalu liberal dalam melihat satu2 perkara? Rasanya tidak...
Kekadang aku juga pernah tidak suka pada suatu perkara. Namun aku berfikir, perlukah aku berbuat sesuatu tentang itu? Mungkinkah aku pengecut? Mungkinkah? Atau mungkinkah aku terlalu berhemah? ermmm tidak juga. Kekadang terhambur juga kemarahan terutama apabila berhadapan dengan manusia2 yang tidak berbudi bahasa... ermmm...
Aku sentiasa ingin untuk melihat perkara dari 2 sudut: BAIK dan BURUK... Dalam melihat manusia, aku sebolehnya mengharap agar setiap pandangan pertama ku adalah pada kebaikan mereka. Mungkin ada yang tidak mengerti mengapa aku perlu bersikap sedemikian... Bagiku tidak semua yang manusia lakukan mempunyai maksud tersembunyi... mungkin ada segelintirnya, tetapi tidak mungkin semua.
Aku sejak dulu lagi, hanya berpegang pada sebuah keyakinan yang nyata: Allah itu maha pengasih dan maha penyayang... Allah itu maha pengampun... maka mengapa tidak kita cuba untuk menjadi walau sedikit seorang yang penyayang, pengasih, dan yang suka memaafkan... walau sedalam mana marahku, lukaku, selalunya aku akan lupa... namun janganlah diulang berkali2 ya...
Dan yang pentingnya tuhan itu satu... Allah adalah namanya, satu daripada 99 nama... aku percaya bahawa semua manusia walaupun lain agamanya, lain fahamannya, lain caranya, lain akidahnya, mereka tetap berdoa, mereka tetap meminta pada tuhan yang sama (dalam sedar atau tanpa sedar mereka)... Allah, tuhan sekalian alam, kerana hanya Allah tuhan yang sebenar2nya. Kerana bagiku, hanya Allah sahaja yang mampu menjawab segalanya, memberi segalanya...
Ya Allah ya tuhanku, berilah petunjuk kepada kami... jadikanlah kami hamba2mu yang beriman, mentaati segala perintahmu dah meninggalkan laranganmu... jadikanlah sifat pengasih dan penyayang sebati dalam diri kami, utk kami sentiasa menyayangi saudara2 kami, kurniakanlah kami jalan yang lurus, serta jadikanlah kami hamba2mu yang sentiasa melihat kebenaran... Amin...
Apa yang aku merepek ni? Tapi merepekkah aku?
Showing posts with label Hope... Prayer.... Show all posts
Showing posts with label Hope... Prayer.... Show all posts
Tuesday, 26 January 2010
Thursday, 24 December 2009
Chance
I have been given the chance to apply the MOR... hoping for the best... but after what i have been through these past few months, what i have discovered... i am ready for anything...
Thursday, 10 December 2009
Baiknya anak mama...
Nina,
Ingat tak malam tadi mama kupas 3 biji buah mempelam untuk kita dua beranak makan? Sementara Irdina habiskan bahagian Irdina, mama pula masuk ke dalam bilik bermain komputer.
Tiba-tiba Irdina menyapa mama, "mama, mama pun"... mama tak perasan apa yang nina nak masa tu, lalu mama pun jawab, "kenapa?"... nina ulang semula, "nah, mama pun"... Irdina tunjukkan pada mama sehiris buah mempelam... Mama pun cakap, "makanlah"... Irdina masih juga kata, "mama pun"...
Tetiba, hirisan mempelam tu jatuh, "o-oh, gogok dahnya"...
Mama jawab, "aok gogok, mama buang k" lantas mama buang mempelam yang jatuh ke dalam tong sampah. Mama perasan ditangan kanan Irdina ada sehiris lagi buah mempelam, yang sedang Irdina makan...jadi, mama suruh Irdina cepat habiskan.
Kejadian tu terus mama lupakan sampailah pagi tadi sejurus selepas bangun tidur, mama tersingkap semula... dan barulah mama sedari yang sebenarnya Irdina nak berkongsi 2 hirisan mempelam yang terakhir dengan mama. Satu utk Nina, satu pulak untuk mama... tapi mama langsung tak perasan... kesiannya anak mama...
Pagi ini, masa Irdina bangun, mama peluk Irdina... dan Mama ucapkan terima kasih pada Irdina kerana ingat pada mama... terima kasih sayang... semoga Irdina membesar menjadi anak yang baik dan bertimbang rasa.
Ingat tak malam tadi mama kupas 3 biji buah mempelam untuk kita dua beranak makan? Sementara Irdina habiskan bahagian Irdina, mama pula masuk ke dalam bilik bermain komputer.
Tiba-tiba Irdina menyapa mama, "mama, mama pun"... mama tak perasan apa yang nina nak masa tu, lalu mama pun jawab, "kenapa?"... nina ulang semula, "nah, mama pun"... Irdina tunjukkan pada mama sehiris buah mempelam... Mama pun cakap, "makanlah"... Irdina masih juga kata, "mama pun"...
Tetiba, hirisan mempelam tu jatuh, "o-oh, gogok dahnya"...
Mama jawab, "aok gogok, mama buang k" lantas mama buang mempelam yang jatuh ke dalam tong sampah. Mama perasan ditangan kanan Irdina ada sehiris lagi buah mempelam, yang sedang Irdina makan...jadi, mama suruh Irdina cepat habiskan.
Kejadian tu terus mama lupakan sampailah pagi tadi sejurus selepas bangun tidur, mama tersingkap semula... dan barulah mama sedari yang sebenarnya Irdina nak berkongsi 2 hirisan mempelam yang terakhir dengan mama. Satu utk Nina, satu pulak untuk mama... tapi mama langsung tak perasan... kesiannya anak mama...
Pagi ini, masa Irdina bangun, mama peluk Irdina... dan Mama ucapkan terima kasih pada Irdina kerana ingat pada mama... terima kasih sayang... semoga Irdina membesar menjadi anak yang baik dan bertimbang rasa.
Tuesday, 8 December 2009
Tired...
I am so tired... of all these efforts... Need to maintain my work life balance.
It's 12.08pm... i should have gone to the BS house to visit Irdina, and here I am, so much absorbed in my work. I stopped for a while to write in here, expecting relief, but feeling none...
Will be having meeting with The Manager this afternoon about my transfer window... if there is a window. Or, i might just create a hole in the wall and jump to the other side of the fence the soonest possible. But, can i sustain, with meager savings adding to the stress? grrrr... Ok, i am jumping the gun too early now... wait for the result of this afternoon meeting then... Hoping for the best and be prepared for the worst... I dont want to be feeling the same as what i have endured before the interview.
As of now... wait and see! Till then...
It's 12.08pm... i should have gone to the BS house to visit Irdina, and here I am, so much absorbed in my work. I stopped for a while to write in here, expecting relief, but feeling none...
Will be having meeting with The Manager this afternoon about my transfer window... if there is a window. Or, i might just create a hole in the wall and jump to the other side of the fence the soonest possible. But, can i sustain, with meager savings adding to the stress? grrrr... Ok, i am jumping the gun too early now... wait for the result of this afternoon meeting then... Hoping for the best and be prepared for the worst... I dont want to be feeling the same as what i have endured before the interview.
As of now... wait and see! Till then...
Wednesday, 24 June 2009
Name it anything...
I have made a midyear resolution OR plan OR pledge OR dream, to be achieved in 2010... what it is... let me keep it to myself, and will certainly blurt it out here once the actual progress started.
Thursday, 21 May 2009
I think i know why...
-1-
I know why am i not feeling very happy today despite the fact that today is my birthday... The manpower report came in yesterday afternoon, but i have only got the chance to read through it this morning... Can i move to KL in this condition?
Recession recession go away... never come again even for a day!
-2-
Some small things people do today really made my day...
My colleagues were preparing for a surprise birthday party next door when i came in. They were really surprised to see me at the door and seem to be at lost of words. I talked to Dave without realising that there's a cake on Abg. M's file cabinet. And suddenly,
Syl: Sharifah, you should have not came in now, we are in the midst preparing for a birthday party for you.
Me: Ohhh...
I was dumbfounded, and we all laughed really hard.
Me: I didn't notice the cake actually Syl, and have just about to leave the room... you have blown your own secret.
We celebrated my birthday... at the office, for the first time. Thank you guys... am really lucky to have all of you as colleagues...
-3-
Bought chocolate cake to celebrate with Irdina at the BS' house. At least, this birthday, i dont feel too lonely. I could celebrate it with my friends and so called family. Fatihah would be very happy to find the cake upon returning from scholl, i bet!
Diet Progress?
I am on my 9kgs mark today... Well done Maz... should have done this long time ago, but its never too late to start things... Hope i will do better, cos i am aiming to get back in that old wedding dress this AidilFitri...
Wednesday, 20 May 2009
Tua?
Bertambah umurku setahun... esok sebenarnya... ermmm... Semoga rezekiku bertambah melimpahruah throughout the year...
Wishlist:
Wishlist:
- Adik(plural) Irdina :p
- Dapat pindah KL
- Duit banyak-banyak
- Dapat salu balik Kuching
- Dapat kereta baru
- Hias rumah
- Nak melancong - Europe tour, gi LA, San Diego lagik... plus Las Vegas and New York (this one would be different trip la kot)
- Nak perbaiki diri... spiritually
- Banyak2 lagi kot...
And another one... to make this blog less formal...
Friday, 15 May 2009
News
Read in newspaper today, about a girl who wrapped her newborn baby, in a garbage bag, soon after birth, while still alive. 3 days after, the baby was found dead, due to suffocation. What a mother could do that to a child? Ya Allah, what will happen to this society if a mother could kill her own child to keep secret her sins? A mother would do everything to protect her child...
I could feel my blood boiling while reading the news. I have always wanted lots of children of my own, and the dream came true only after 3 years of marriage. All those hoping and prayers, to hold my own child at last paid off, with the birth of our beloved Irdina.
I pledged myself not to harm my children in anyway possible, physically and emotionally, hence i am asking your guidance Ya Allah, please lead me to be a good mother to my children, and my children to be good, to us their parents, to the society, and above all, to you, the Creator and the Din, Islam.
Ya Allah, jadikanlah kami ibu2 yang menyayangi anaknya dengan sepenuh jiwa, dan jadikanlah anak2 kami anak2 yang beriman kepadamu. Lindungilah anak2 kami drpd segala mara bahaya... yang kami sedari mahupun yang kami tidak sedari.
I could feel my blood boiling while reading the news. I have always wanted lots of children of my own, and the dream came true only after 3 years of marriage. All those hoping and prayers, to hold my own child at last paid off, with the birth of our beloved Irdina.
I pledged myself not to harm my children in anyway possible, physically and emotionally, hence i am asking your guidance Ya Allah, please lead me to be a good mother to my children, and my children to be good, to us their parents, to the society, and above all, to you, the Creator and the Din, Islam.
Ya Allah, jadikanlah kami ibu2 yang menyayangi anaknya dengan sepenuh jiwa, dan jadikanlah anak2 kami anak2 yang beriman kepadamu. Lindungilah anak2 kami drpd segala mara bahaya... yang kami sedari mahupun yang kami tidak sedari.
Saturday, 28 March 2009
I turned off my lights...
Some people said its just gimmick... but for me, earth hour is a way to tell people that we could do something for our beloved EARTH... Bumi kita!!! Having earth hour or not, we still have to do our part, to make sure our children be given the chance to in future still have a better place to live in... Please stop all the filthy talking about other people's efforts when you have none of your own... and even if you have one (or more), and have been doing yours, let people have the freedom to do theirs.
I hope for a better earth... maybe we could do something, maybe we will find something to save the earth from deteriorating... We learned since childhood that one day there will be no more dunia fana... but i have not heard that Allah will still let his hamba suffer when they have done all that is right... We will find ways to live when its not yet time to be gone...
Allah takkan mengubah hambanya melainkan hambanya berusaha mengubah dirinya sendiri...
I hope for a better earth... maybe we could do something, maybe we will find something to save the earth from deteriorating... We learned since childhood that one day there will be no more dunia fana... but i have not heard that Allah will still let his hamba suffer when they have done all that is right... We will find ways to live when its not yet time to be gone...
Allah takkan mengubah hambanya melainkan hambanya berusaha mengubah dirinya sendiri...
Friday, 6 February 2009
Menangis
I cried and cried... for Baby Zulaikha...
Al Fatihah... to the family, especially to Zulaikha's mother, may the truth prevails, may Allah gives you strength.
Update:
Frustrated that the site has now been closed to invited readers only... but they must have got a good reason for doing this...
Al Fatihah... to the family, especially to Zulaikha's mother, may the truth prevails, may Allah gives you strength.
Update:
Frustrated that the site has now been closed to invited readers only... but they must have got a good reason for doing this...
Monday, 12 January 2009
Palestine... U'd find peace ONE DAY...
My heart breaks looking at these photos... especially the first =(
Actually, i dont really take note whether these are palestinian children or they are israelis children... the fact that these are children, not the armies was the reason for this pain in the chest...
I got this from here:
The "Israeli Defense Forces (IDF)" on Sunday released the pictures of some of Hamas’ most wanted “terrorists” it said it has killed since the start of the Israeli onslaught in the Gaza Strip more two weeks ago.
An Israeli spokesman told foreign reporters in Jerusalem that the world community, especially Americans and Europeans, shouldn’t be deceived by the ostensibly young age of the killed terrorists.
“They may look young to you and me. But these people are terrorists at heart. Don’t look at their deceptively innocent faces, try to think of the demons inside each of them.”
The spokesman, Nachman Abramovic, said he was “absolutely certain” that these people would grow to be “evil terrorists if we allowed them to grow.”
“If you were in our shoes, would you allow them to grow to kill your children or finish them off right now”?
Asked if he was worried about possible criticisms from the international community, Abramovic said he was not worried a bit because “We are only defending ourselves.”
“Would you apologize for defending yourself if another person attacked you without any provocation,” the Israeli spokesman asked an American reporter.
Impressed by the answer, the American reporter said “You are right, Sir, absolutely.”
The IDF spokesman added that Israel didn’t really target civilians in Gaza and that the world should fall into trap of Hamas's propaganda.
“I challenge serious news media to prove that we have killed a single innocent civilian in Gaza .
“Don’t tell me Aljazeera said this or CNN said that. You know all these people are anti-Semites and can’t be relied upon to tell the truth.”
He added that in any case, honest and moral people ought to differentiate between “true human beings” and “human animals.”
“We do kill human animals, and we do so unapologetically. Besides who in the West is in a position to lecture us on killing human animals. After all, whose hands are cleaned?”
Another Israeli spokesman, Tzipora Menache, said she was not immensely worried about negative ramifications that Operation Cast Lead might have on the way the Obama administration would view Israel .
“You know very well, and the stupid Americans know equally well, that we control their government, irrespective of who sits in the White House.”
“You see, I know it and you know it that no American president can be in a position to challenge us even if we do the unthinkable.”
Asked if she was not worried that her remarks would cause a public relations disaster, Menache said “what can they do to us. We control congress, we control the media, we control show biz, we control everything in America.
“In America you can criticize G-d, but you can’t criticize Israel .”
Now, after this imaginary but very realistic introduction, we shall view the pictures of these “evil terrorists.”
You may say what you want, do what you want, based on who you are... You'd definitely say something contradicting each other (as if nobody would have guessed)... but please leave your children out of this hatred? Please...
My exrumet wrote something on Palestine too... click here...
This one is good too...
and this... Saniboey webpage...
Actually, i dont really take note whether these are palestinian children or they are israelis children... the fact that these are children, not the armies was the reason for this pain in the chest...
I got this from here:
The "Israeli Defense Forces (IDF)" on Sunday released the pictures of some of Hamas’ most wanted “terrorists” it said it has killed since the start of the Israeli onslaught in the Gaza Strip more two weeks ago.
An Israeli spokesman told foreign reporters in Jerusalem that the world community, especially Americans and Europeans, shouldn’t be deceived by the ostensibly young age of the killed terrorists.
“They may look young to you and me. But these people are terrorists at heart. Don’t look at their deceptively innocent faces, try to think of the demons inside each of them.”
The spokesman, Nachman Abramovic, said he was “absolutely certain” that these people would grow to be “evil terrorists if we allowed them to grow.”
“If you were in our shoes, would you allow them to grow to kill your children or finish them off right now”?
Asked if he was worried about possible criticisms from the international community, Abramovic said he was not worried a bit because “We are only defending ourselves.”
“Would you apologize for defending yourself if another person attacked you without any provocation,” the Israeli spokesman asked an American reporter.
Impressed by the answer, the American reporter said “You are right, Sir, absolutely.”
The IDF spokesman added that Israel didn’t really target civilians in Gaza and that the world should fall into trap of Hamas's propaganda.
“I challenge serious news media to prove that we have killed a single innocent civilian in Gaza .
“Don’t tell me Aljazeera said this or CNN said that. You know all these people are anti-Semites and can’t be relied upon to tell the truth.”
He added that in any case, honest and moral people ought to differentiate between “true human beings” and “human animals.”
“We do kill human animals, and we do so unapologetically. Besides who in the West is in a position to lecture us on killing human animals. After all, whose hands are cleaned?”
Another Israeli spokesman, Tzipora Menache, said she was not immensely worried about negative ramifications that Operation Cast Lead might have on the way the Obama administration would view Israel .
“You know very well, and the stupid Americans know equally well, that we control their government, irrespective of who sits in the White House.”
“You see, I know it and you know it that no American president can be in a position to challenge us even if we do the unthinkable.”
Asked if she was not worried that her remarks would cause a public relations disaster, Menache said “what can they do to us. We control congress, we control the media, we control show biz, we control everything in America.
“In America you can criticize G-d, but you can’t criticize Israel .”
Now, after this imaginary but very realistic introduction, we shall view the pictures of these “evil terrorists.”
You may say what you want, do what you want, based on who you are... You'd definitely say something contradicting each other (as if nobody would have guessed)... but please leave your children out of this hatred? Please...
My exrumet wrote something on Palestine too... click here...
This one is good too...
and this... Saniboey webpage...
Monday, 13 October 2008
Irdina cried...
Irdina did not sleep well last night... She cried and cried (loud and non-stop) due to stomach discomfort... and what did i do while she's crying? I cried along... sob sob... She only stopped at around 2am after 3 intermittent sessions (around 15 to 30 minutes each) of crying... Woke up again at around 5am, crying again but this time wanting "nennen"... At times like this, i feel like quitting and join Sepu in KL...
This morning, her eyes were swolen because of the crying... and mama's heart cried again looking at her sad little face... she was still asleep when i carried her to the car just now... and she just kept quiet... mama's baby, sorry for not knowing what to do... and sorry to ever let you feel such pain :((
I pity Irdina a lot... she has to adapt herself to so many situations, situations that could even make an adult confused... most of the time she's with mama, and ofcourse with the BS' family... sometimes her babah would be there for her... and once in a blue moon, she'll get to see her atuk and nenek and ami and bucu, and even her Tok Inah... but she has a strength that i admire, which really helps her to accustome herself to situations fast... she's very friendly and very accepting! mmuahhh mmuahhh Irdina... I love you baby... be strong okay?
Please ya Allah... let us be together as a family soon... please... i couldn't pursuade my heart and mind to accept this loneliness anymore... loneliness in the sense of facing these kind of situations alone, not knowing of what to act or do, crying along with Irdina while asking her to stop her cries... please ya Allah... please give to Irdina good health, please give to her strength to face every ups and downs throughout...
This morning, her eyes were swolen because of the crying... and mama's heart cried again looking at her sad little face... she was still asleep when i carried her to the car just now... and she just kept quiet... mama's baby, sorry for not knowing what to do... and sorry to ever let you feel such pain :((
I pity Irdina a lot... she has to adapt herself to so many situations, situations that could even make an adult confused... most of the time she's with mama, and ofcourse with the BS' family... sometimes her babah would be there for her... and once in a blue moon, she'll get to see her atuk and nenek and ami and bucu, and even her Tok Inah... but she has a strength that i admire, which really helps her to accustome herself to situations fast... she's very friendly and very accepting! mmuahhh mmuahhh Irdina... I love you baby... be strong okay?
Please ya Allah... let us be together as a family soon... please... i couldn't pursuade my heart and mind to accept this loneliness anymore... loneliness in the sense of facing these kind of situations alone, not knowing of what to act or do, crying along with Irdina while asking her to stop her cries... please ya Allah... please give to Irdina good health, please give to her strength to face every ups and downs throughout...
Friday, 19 September 2008
Mok passed away... Alfatihah...
Mok passed away yesterday evening at around 6pm... on Friday night and in the month of Ramadhan... Semoga rohnya dicucuri rahmat oleh Allah. Alfatihah...
As sad as the news is, something changed my cloudy mood today... I'm happier because of something... thank you sayang. That certainly made my day :*
May days after this be filled with more happiness...
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