Irdina did not sleep well last night... She cried and cried (loud and non-stop) due to stomach discomfort... and what did i do while she's crying? I cried along... sob sob... She only stopped at around 2am after 3 intermittent sessions (around 15 to 30 minutes each) of crying... Woke up again at around 5am, crying again but this time wanting "nennen"... At times like this, i feel like quitting and join Sepu in KL...
This morning, her eyes were swolen because of the crying... and mama's heart cried again looking at her sad little face... she was still asleep when i carried her to the car just now... and she just kept quiet... mama's baby, sorry for not knowing what to do... and sorry to ever let you feel such pain :((
I pity Irdina a lot... she has to adapt herself to so many situations, situations that could even make an adult confused... most of the time she's with mama, and ofcourse with the BS' family... sometimes her babah would be there for her... and once in a blue moon, she'll get to see her atuk and nenek and ami and bucu, and even her Tok Inah... but she has a strength that i admire, which really helps her to accustome herself to situations fast... she's very friendly and very accepting! mmuahhh mmuahhh Irdina... I love you baby... be strong okay?
Please ya Allah... let us be together as a family soon... please... i couldn't pursuade my heart and mind to accept this loneliness anymore... loneliness in the sense of facing these kind of situations alone, not knowing of what to act or do, crying along with Irdina while asking her to stop her cries... please ya Allah... please give to Irdina good health, please give to her strength to face every ups and downs throughout...
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