A Friend...

When I think about friends... they make me wonder... some friends are rare gems... some friends just come and go... and some friends are not even fit to be called friends at all... What kind of a friend am I?

I'm a reserved person to those who merely know me, but for my friends, I am not that reserved at all… I don’t really know how to show my appreciation towards my friends, but what I know is that, I’m willing to be by their side, in both happy moments or sad, especially the latter. Sometimes, I don’t even know how to start a conversation, even with someone whom I’ve known for quite sometimes, I am just too anxious. But wait till you know me better, and I know that not everybody will have that chance… Not knowing me does not mean that you are not my friend and that I don’t appreciate the fact that you are my friend… I do appreciate you, no matter what you think or might feel about that…

10 to 20 years ago, I might not be the kind of friend that you want. I was not fun at all. I was serious. I was a bit selfish maybe. And the most distinguished part is that I don’t really talk to everybody. I was just too concerned of whether you like me or you do not like me, I was always bothered whether I’ve made a good impression or a bad one. In my mind, I keep hearing people talk bad about me. Might it be true or might it be false… I should have just let the thoughts go, rather than jeopardize my chance of having decent friends. I’ve so much to complaint that I do not realized that I have only one really good friend each time, not a ring of them. What I have that time were conditional friends (on my part), and I lost the chance to really get to know them. I restricted myself too much. I did not open my mind, and I lost the opportunity to create the best memories between us. I’m sorry for that. If I could start anew, I would do so, will it be too late?

I’ll not be flattered if you give me big presents for my birthday. I have money to buy myself lots of things that my heart desire… what will really touch me is that, whenever you feel that you need somebody’s help or favour, you, without hesitation, come to me… yes… come to me, and ask me to help you! If I could not help you myself, I would certainly find someone who could, or the least I could do, is trying to give you ideas on who to seek for.

Come here to Miri, I’ll bring you around, wherever you want to go, as long as you are willing to sit in my ever modest kancil. Come to Kuching whenever I’m there… and we’ll discover the heritage together…

You know that I’ve break my barrier when I can speak bluntly on whatever topic there is, without hesitation… I’d be more open with my feelings. I may hurt your feelings, and we might be on cold-war for 3 days or more, but I will still value you, regardless of what has been said or done, all be forgotten… as long as we keep the value of our friendship as something sacred.

If you are a friend from my past, please take me for who I am. I am not that self-conscious anymore to realize that I can be friends with anybody I want. For those in my present, you know that you are appreciated, and you know that I’d do anything for you. I’d be your shoulder to cry on and I’d be one of the people to cheer and congratulate you on your moment of glory.

I have a heart full of love for all of you friends out there, may you be those from my high school years, those from my matriculation years or for those from my university years… I started to know and appreciate more the value of one friendship once I entered this ever tough corporate world…

Friends, you are certainly one of the best things, and the memories we’ve crafted together, will always be within me.

Those who warm my heart with their open affections and kindness;

Norliza Bujang, Dayang Syahvina, Nortipah Yassin, Arnida Sharkawi… you are a flock of earth angels.

Lydia Sangu, only Allah knows how I missed you, and been searching for you but to no avail; Maslina Alwi, a beautiful friend of mine, a jovial soul; Siti Hasnah Tanalol, Mate, you are a really good friend, sorry I’ve never told you that when we share the same room, My other roomates... Siha, Ina... where are you? Ruzalina Baharin, you are the most patient, Allahyarham Mohamed Ridzuan Bin Abd Hamid, Al-Fatihah, a good friend indeed, till your last breath; Balkis Omar, I’ll never forget what you have done, when every body else hurt my feeling without even knowing, afraid that my chicken pox will get to them, you give me your room, a friend in need is a friend indeed.

Kak Elly (Sharifah Azlina) Ina Tisha; Raihana Raie; Faridatul Amla; Baby Zuraydah; Azwani Sofea (Daemon); Norlia Razali; Nazlin Mohd Nasir; Madiawati Mamat; Kak Che Rogayah; Kak Nurul; thank you for being there for me.

Zolhaidah and Shairelbariyah; both of you have been there all these years, through thick or thin... I love both of you with all my heart.

Baby Zakiah; thank you for being a good and considerate housemate, it has been nearly 3 years.



Radin Harsyeka; someone who is fun to be with, when she’s not in the loop, I can feel that there’s something missing.

Widya Huzana, we shared the same obsession, the same sickness and the same hope ... i'll pray for you, and i know that you are praying for me too... I know i am normal after that talk... you know what!!!

As if she knew that I am writing about friend, my good friend from a year teaching at SMTS, Mdm Fazal Hamid called me, after 5 years… thank you for your friendship, you've been a great friend.

Now that I’ve mentioned some names, I realized that I have good friends indeed… If ever a thought cross your mind that I did not mention your name because I did not appreciate you, you are mistaken. Forgive me for being careless, but nevertheless… I appreciate you.