Thursday, 14 February 2008

MUDDLE THROUGH MY PAIN

I’m in pain. I don’t want to describe here as I could not even describe the pain to the radiologist when he did the abdominal ultrasound. But Dr. James (the GI specialist) described how I feel the best. He knows the symptoms better. I will have to stop all traditional medication (luckily I did not agree to try “the real all” though) except for the Pati Ikan Haruan. The manjakani juice hurt my stomach so much that it feels like all organs inside me are in the midst of shrinking. I have another appointment with the GI specialist this Saturday. Hopefully, I’d be wholly healthy on the day. The Dr. reminded me that I will have to be in much2 less pain on Saturday for him to leave my stomach alone… My appendix looks fine but he is aiming to cut that first should my pain remains.

Babah takes great care of me. I could see from his eyes the misery whenever he sees me crying, when he discovers me panting when my stomach hurts. He had always been the one with softer heart, someone with eyes that could not hide anything, especially love. He had taken care of me when I was hospitalized for 1 week when I was in Primary 5. He watched me when I was sick my whole life. He slept next to a child me when I have nightmares. I’ve had a chance to take care of him when he was hospitalized after the heart attack… but I know that’s not enough for what he has done for me, plus again, this one.

I could see that mama loves Irdina so much that she could not stay working without thinking of going home… something typical. She wanted me to be healthy and back in shape so bad that she persuaded me to consume this and that, which not everything I am willing to take. I just don’t care about the silhouette yet. I just want to be healthy. Help me be, please! She keeps reminding me to drink a lot of plain water which I am wholeheartedly willing to follow, and she has stopped to suggest anymore alternative medicines now that my stomach does not allow anything but simple porridge and fruit juices (in confinement, what a luxury, ekeke).

My brother and sister are great help. They helped me through my days and nights. I could see that they are also tired, but they helped me muddle through this painful week.

Today… I am feeling a lot better than last week. Sepu was frustrated that he could not be here with me when I am in pain. He massaged me every night when he was here the whole of last week. I was really in bad shape, but luckily he was here during that period. Thank you sayang…

I am a lot lighter now, but not yet achieving my pre-marital weight though. Like what I said prior on… at this time, being healthy is my priority.

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