Working Life...

I am quite busy actually, but still, I have to release some stress that has started to push me over the limit. I should have made it clear to myself that I need adequate rest, not only for the baby’s sake, but for my own self as well.

Monday the 22nd was quite a day. That’s my first day of work after a long raya holiday. Still in raya mood, but will have to bear the boredom of working like mad. Had TC Sitting at 9.20, it went well even though we will need to present the paper further up to Petronas JTC. Hopefully everything goes as smooth as planned next week…

That Monday also brought back my memory to the most beloved AZ. He’s so cool a boss that we missed him so much since he left for BSP. The new replacement is also good, but he seems to be so stressed out that I am afraid to even ask simple questions. Ermmm… it’s bad to talk about this in blogs but still, I need a place to dump all hard feelings towards anybody without hurting the person involved.

Actually, the ‘roar’ was not meant for me, it was meant to somebody else, but as a team member, I could also feel the spill over… I have long realized that a small matter for us might not be as small to somebody else… and that’s what happened. But for me, even though we are mad at anybody, there’s a way of telling him / her that he / she has crossed the line. There’s no need to point finger straight to the face and shout as if the intended person is deaf and could not hear your voice if you had wished to slow talk.

I am not sure whether this sensitivity is caused by the pregnancy… but really; at the moment I doubt it. I have been this sensitive when my parents scolded my siblings… I have been this sensitive when my husband raised his voice, eventhough unintentionally. Luckily my husband is the coolest husband anyone can get… ehehe… he understands me more that I understand myself… and, we are clique… Alhamdulillah…

I feel like looking for a new job somewhere else, but really, Shell is a great place to work and learn… but what if now that you realize that you are without a superior who would back you up if you make mistakes (especially doing thing for the first time)… AZ, he’s something… a great boss, more, a father figure… I am a self motivated person… but when you are feeling more downs than ups, there is something wrong with your system… and my system seem to display ‘error’ while in the office… I feel threaten, not secure… what with the auditor coming in next week… with misplaced MOM that has yet to be retrieved from nowhere… goshhhh…

Thought of looking for work somewhere else… but where to? My husband office keeps asking for my CV, but I am not sure whether I would be happy working there (apart from so happy being near him everyday)… For the baby, I even thought of just quitting, but who’s going to pay all the debts? Goshhhh… with the new house coming to completion, meaning that we will have to pay the full installment amount soon… I will need a job with big pay, and free medical benefits to keep my baby-producing mode, ehehehe… I need to change my car… to a bigger one, meaning, to a more expensive one… working here as a permanent staff will mean lots of good things… and also lots of responsibility, and also lots of heads and minds and demands to take care of… another goshhh…

I have not have my lunch yet… and the baby is now somersaulting inside… so, need to catch something before baby starts kicking and punching…

First Day Puasa

This is the first day of Ramadahan, the first time I am fasting while pregnant...

I woke up at 4.20am for sahur, drink lots of water, and eat kurma and oat. I really hope that i could sustain until noon, if not dusk. Right now, at 8.32am… my head is in a ‘ready to spin mode’. I brought a bottle of drinking water, just in case!

After subuh prayer, I went back to sleep. Sepu called at around 6am. Slept again, and guess what? I woke up at 7.30am… goshhh… had to rush and go to the office. Arrived at around 7.55… lucky! Need to sleep earlier tonight! Maybe, after watching one episode of Sakaki Makio.

Talking about Sakaki Makio… First, I thought, it was a gangster movie, but then I fell in love with the way they present the importance of having an education, and what’s more, it’s important to enjoy your school life. As when you grow up, you’d miss those ‘remember when’ moments dearly, and wished that you had enjoyed them.

Still feel sleepy. Feel like going back to sleep. It has always been like this, first days of Ramadhan. Will be better once the body got used to waking up after deep sleep and going back to sleep again for a short while. Should have gone to bed earlier, so that I could have just stayed awake after sahur till its time to go to work.

Really miss having sahur with my family… with my dear husband who will have to bear eating can food for sahur, alone or maybe with his friends. Maybe tonight, I will cook something for tomorrow’s sahur… luckily Babe Zakiah is there, but weekends? It would be me and my little one who has started kicking vigorously again after 3 days of vacation (with only occasional punches)… He/she likes to sleep (assumption) or play (another assumption) facing backwards… ermmm… his/her babah said, sleep like mummy! Kehkehkeh…